Was This Woman Wrong For Ransacking Her Ex’s Apartment?
This story takes a lot of twists and turns following one woman’s relationship and eventual breakup with her controlling ex.
The drama started when she moved into his apartment, a move that she says was “against my better judgment.”
Things Changed When The Couple Moved In Together
The original poster (OP) is a 25-year-old woman who moved in with her partner Jake, 34, after they had been dating for 8 months.
She says that after moving in, she immediately noticed he became increasingly “possessive and protective.”
The Toxic Behavior Stopped For A Short Time
OP says she expressed to Jake that he needed to cut that behavior out because it was “off-putting,” and things seemed to improve.
That is until she told him she wanted to attend her friend’s destination wedding in Mexico.
Jake Tried To Prevent Her From Going To Mexico For A Destination Wedding
She had been planning on going on the trip for over a year but was met with resistance by Jake.
He reasoned that Mexico was too dangerous for OP to go despite the fact that she had previously lived in the country for a year, spoke Spanish fluently, and had friends living there.
Her Passport Disappeared From Her Nightstand
Regardless, OP planned to go ahead with the trip but ran into a major issue the day before she was supposed to leave.
Her passport suddenly went missing from her bedside nightstand.
She Confronted Jake About The Missing Passport
The first step was to look through the entire apartment, but she came away empty-handed and frustrated.
OP then decided to confront Jake about the missing document which is when he began to act suspicious about the whole thing.
OP Began A Frantic (And Kind Of Destructive) Search
The post continues to explain that OP had been noticing “some red flags” from Jake and decided to have “a thorough look around.”
The “thorough look around” quickly escalated into a full-out ransack the longer OP was searching.
She Located The “Missing” Passport In His Study
Partway through the chaotic hunt for the missing passport, OP found the important travel document.
She found it “behind some books on the bookcase in his study.” She knew that Jake had placed it there because she never went into his study.
Jake Became Furious That OP Searched Through His Things
The mess was too much to hide, and when Jake returned home, he became “furious” with OP for “going through his things and ransacking his place.”
That’s when the gaslighting began.
He Told Her She Was Being Crazy And That He Would Have Returned The Passport
Jake told OP that there was no need for her to “go crazy” and that he would have given the passport back.
But OP was also furious that he took the passport in the first place and didn’t believe he had any intention of returning it.
She Then Asked The Internet If She Was In The Wrong
OP then took to the internet to ask a popular subreddit whether she was in the wrong for “overreacting and ransacking my (ex)boyfriend’s place.”
She revealed that this is only her third serious relationship and feels she has “no perspective on this kind of thing.” Redditors were quick to offer OP a different point of view.
The Relationship Ended After The Passport Fiasco
In a quick update, OP added that she is no longer in a relationship with Jake and that she is staying with her parents while the dust settles on the fight.
She even sent her brother and father to collect her remaining things from the apartment.
Redditors Quickly Voted Her NTA
Redditors were quick to point out that OP hadn’t done anything wrong and had actually been a victim of the whole situation.
Most people advised her to move out immediately, which thankfully, she had already done.
She Came To The Conclusion That She Was “Silly” For Ever Thinking She Could Have Been In The Wrong
After having some time to clear her head, speak with her family, and read some responses to her post, OP said that she was sure that she had made the right call to end things.
It’s easy to see how blinded you can be when you’re too close to a situation or person.
