Toys from the 1980s that wouldn’t get made today
As people grow older, it’s natural for them to look back fondly on the things they enjoyed as children. But they may also find that the details of their nostalgic romps inspire surprisingly horrified reactions from younger generations.
For instance, the idea of a car where someone’s most beloved childhood memories took place not having seat belts would be unthinkable to most people born after the 1960s. And by the same token, there are quite a few toys that kids in the ’80s prayed to get for Christmas, but that would just be too risky to sell nowadays.
Lawn Darts
It’s true that lawn darts are far older than the 1980s, but it was also the last decade that most families could enjoy them. Because according to Mashable, they were nationally banned for sale by the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission in 1988.
But as fun as the lawn game may have been, the reasons for that ban were understandable. An errant throw could drive the darts’ sharp, metal tips into children’s heads, which was responsible for about 6,100 hospitalizations and three fatalities before the ban took place.
Garbage Pail Kids
Although the Garbage Pail Kids collectible trading cards were trendy among adolescents during the ’80s, the Topps company responsible for them faced pressure from schools, parent groups, and psychologist William F. Walsh to stop producing the cards due to their disturbing imagery.
However, this is not the reason why they can’t be produced today. As AP News reported, the death knell for the original Garbage Pail Kids came in 1987 after Cabbage Patch Kids manufacturer Original Appalachian Artworks sued Topps for copyright and trademark infringement.
Pogo Balls
For those unfamiliar, the Pogo Ball was a toy that combined an inflatable ball with a plastic disc that worked as a hands-free alternative to a Pogo stick. But while the toy’s design was a recipe for accidental injuries, that’s not what led Hasbro to stop manufacturing it.
And while the toy company was sued over the toy’s patent rights by Rapael J. Van Der Cleyen and Wilifriend F. Ribbens of Belgium, that wasn’t what killed the toy either. Instead, Mashable reported that Hasbro discontinued the Pogo Ball simply because its popularity dried up by the mid-’90s.
Slap Bracelets
Although their popularity spiked in the ’90s, Bustle outlined that Slap Bracelets were invented in 1983 by Wisconsin shop teacher Stuart Anders. And while the flexibility of their metal insides and the colorful designs on their fabric covers delighted kids, the same could not be said for their parents.
This was due to the fact that the bracelets’ metal interiors were sharp enough to cut children’s skin if they came through their coverings. And since this was a particularly common problem for knock-off brands, they were specifically targeted in a mass recall by the Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection.
Racer Slides
For decades, children going to their local playgrounds could expect to ride a tall metal slide that gave them just the right runway to zoom off the jungle gym.
However, Mental Floss explained that while burns from the sun-heated metal were a common hazard for these slides, it was the falling risk from the top rungs that compelled lawsuits and evolving regulations for playground equipment.
Hang Ten Mini-Hammocks
According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, Hang Ten mini-hammocks were children’s net hammocks sold from 1979 until the product was recalled in 1996.
When used without spreader bars, the hammock proved a severe enough suffocation risk to claim 12 lives and to cause at least two other near-fatal incidents between 1984 and 1995.
Ker-Bangers
Clacker ball toys like Ker-Bangers were marketed as helping kids’ hand-eye coordination as they slammed plastic balls together. Unfortunately, the polymer used to make these toys throughout the ’60s, ’70s, and early ’80s wasn’t sturdy enough to accommodate this purpose and was prone to shattering.
This meant that the balls could explode in a child’s hands and potentially fling small plastic shards into their eyes. According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, the product was recalled in 1985 for this reason.
Princess Telephones
According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, these Princess Telephone toys sold between 1989 and 1990 were about four-and-a-half inches long, came in multiple colors, and were packaged in sets of two.
However, they didn’t last long on the market because the phone’s dial was found to break off easily enough to become a choking hazard. The CPSC announced a recall of the product on September 6, 1990.
Hot Looks dolls
While many little girls were gifted Hot Looks dolls when they were young, there was something seriously wrong with the Mattel line.
While the dolls were fashionable in their own right each having their own style, the fact that each was blatantly a stereotype of their country of origin makes it so there is no way they would pass in today’s society.
Wham O Slip N Slide
Although modified versions of this popular summer favorite are still sold today, the original Wham O Slip N Slide with the shorter runway was recalled in 1993.
According to Mental Floss, the toy had not proved dangerous to children under 12 but was responsible for permanently paralyzing multiple adults between 1973 and 1991.
